Top 10 Stupid-Hot Dumb Chicks

Just because a woman’s famous for her looks doesn’t automatically make her an idiot. But these 10 lovely ladies sure make that a difficult argument to back-up. Throughout their careers, these hot-bodied babes have been proving that you can be successful without having to have a fully functioning frontal lobe. But that doesn’t mean we don’t still want to see them naked!

Check out Top 10 Stupid-Hot Dumb Chicks after the break!

(Click Pics To See Full Galleries)

(click photo to view full gallery)

Paris Hilton

People like to argue that Paris Hilton is actually a business wizard. But really, she’s just has rich girl street smarts. (i.e. she knows which bag is going to be “hot” – and then makes it “hot” by saying it’s f**king “hot.”) But if you don’t know how to use a shovel or fry an egg, then there’s something wrong with your brain. A f**king three-year-old knows how to use a shovel. Anyway, thanks for letting us see you naked…

(click photo to view full gallery)

Sarah Palin

We’re not saying Sarah Palin has a low IQ. I mean, she’s the governor of Alaska, for f**k’s sake! But she sure does say (and do) some of the dumbest sh*t I’ve ever seen. Obviously, the infamous interview with Katie Couric was a political abomination, her debate performance could have been better executed by a tree stump, and she didn’t know that Africa was a continent.

To top it all off, she just brought charges of yet another ethics violation against herself by “improperly mixing official duties and political broader political ambitions,” when she gave a national interview to Fox News. And while she was doing all this, she and her family were looting McCain’s campaign bank for over $150,000. What, did she think nobody would notice? Our guess is, yes.

UPDATE: If you are still unconvinced, check out Gov. Palin’s choice in interview location.

(click photo to view full gallery)

Jessica Simpson

It doesn’t take much to convince someone a blond is stupid. In fact, if you’re blond, it takes a lot more to convince people you not. And it especially takes a lot if you have a TV crew following you around, recording your every move. But the thing is, if you’re even a little bit stupid and you let people record your every move, THAT’S F’ING STUPID! I don’t care what it does for your career, after having gems like Jessica’s Chicken of the Sea line, I’m sorry, but people are going to think you’re an idiot. Sure can fill out a bikini top, though.

(click photo to view full gallery)

Ashley Dupre

Um, she’s a whore – not that there’s anything wrong with that. But as noble a profession as whoring is, nobody can argue it requires an above average IQ to suck d**k for a living. And if going down on strangers is what you’re doing with your life, something tells me it’s not because becoming a bio-chemist wasn’t challenging enough. To cut her some slack, it’s not like she’s claimed to be smart. But when you go on television and don’t even know that one of your clients is the governor of New York, that takes a special kind of stupid.

(click photo to view full gallery)

Kendra Wilkinson

This girl next door might have made a bundle off of being blond and having giant fake tits. But, well, that still means she’s just a blond with big fake tits. Even Hugh Hefner called Kendra “dazed and limited,” which I guess is a nice way of saying she’s dumb as a ball of pubes. But if you’re so stupid that euphemisms don’t even work around you, it’s time to stop being on television.

(click photo to view full gallery)

Brooke Hogan

Let’s face it, Brooke Hogan is lucky as hell she came out hot because she’s sure as hell not going to get anywhere with ideas. I mean, she can’t even make the right decision when it comes to wearing ass-less jean chaps. (Hint: You don’t wear them unless you’re auditioning for Brokeback Mountain 2.) But you can’t blame just her – the entire Hogan family has about as much brains between them as a Chia Pet. And If her father weren’t the most famous pro-wrestler on the planet, she’d probably be knocked-up by a 37-year-old wino and working at a bowling alley.

(click photo to view full gallery)

Heidi Montag

This blond Beverly Hills bombshell might be one of the hottest girls to come out of reality TV, ever. But she’s dumber than George Bush’s ass cheek. First of all, she was a fashion design student, which doesn’t exactly scream “intellectual powerhouse.” But then she couldn’t even do that! So she dropped out, saying school wasn’t “challenging enough,” which is just code for “I wanted to party and lay by the pool more.”

Things started to look up after Bolthouse Productions promoted her to ‘events planner.’ Then she got the boot from that. But the really dumb part is that everything that’s wrong in this girl’s life is because of her extra-retarded boyfriend, Spencer Pratt. Maybe if she were a single mom on welfare you might understand why she keeps going back to him. But not when you have more money than all of Detroit.

(click photo to view full gallery)

Britney Spears

This chick is hilariously stupid. Everything she touches turns retarded. She shaves her head, video tapes herself doing drugs, marries F’ing Kevin Federline! I mean, c’mon. She doesn’t even know how to take care of her children properly, and that’s supposed to be at least half instinct. It’s like she’s huffing spray paint or something. You’d think after touring around the world she would have learned a little more than…well, we’re not sure she actually learned anything. At the rate Britney’s going, let’s just say she’s not gonna receive any honorary PhDs anytime soon.

(click photo to view full gallery)

Lauren Caitlin Upton

There is nothing I could say to convince you of why Lauren Caitlin Upton should be on this list more than she already said during her Miss Teen USA competition answer. It’s….amazing. Now, you might say, “Hey, she just had a brain fart.” But that answer wasn’t just a brain fart, that was her brain taking a dump on the stage. You just want to scream at her, “STOP TALKING!” And when she doesn’t, all you can do is punch your face to make the idiocy go away.

(click photo to view full gallery)

Kelly Pickler

This “Small Town Girl” might be the dumbest celebrity we’ve ever seen on TV. The country singer and former American Idol contestant might be ballsy, going from a roller-skating waitress at Sonic to an Idol star in no time. But wherever her balls start, her brain ends. To see how bad it really is, just watch this video of her on “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” (It’s even worse than Lauren Caitlin Upton trainwreck.) Before this hilariously bad performance, her fans might have been able to convince you she’s actually a secret genius. But now, it’s hard to image how she gets through the day without wearing a helmet.

10 Celebrities Whose Boobs Are Just “Too Big”

You might find it surprising for COED magazine to ever admit that boobs can be “too big.” It’s just not our style. In fact, our style is exactly the opposite, most of the time. But sometimes, having a hefty chest isn’t all high fives and ice cream. No, for these celebrities, their ample bosoms have been more a hindrance than a blessing. Here are 10 Celebrities Whose Breasts Are Just “Too Big.”

1. Lindsay Lohan: “Too Big To Work”

Film chiefs where not happy with the size of Lindsay Lohans breasts and have reportedly spent $millions on CGI to reduce them for the film Herbie: Fully Loaded.

This could mean that Lindsey might find its harder to gain work in future unless she reduces her assets via surgery.

2. Dolly Parton: “Nothing But Pain”

Dolly Parton’s breasts are as famous as her country music but she says they cause her nothing but pain. The 62 year old now requires eight weeks of rest to deal with the back pain of carrying these puppies around on tour.

3. Ulrika Jonsson: “Repulsed By Her Breasts”

Ulrika Jonsson sad she was truly repulsed by her breasts during pregnancy, and said that “women with larger breasts, are often subjected to other people judging their character by their body shape.”

4. Kelly Osbourne: “I Want No Bra”

Kelly Osbourne has been open that she hates her boobs, and that she wants a size B or C so that she wont require a bra. She plans to use breast reduction surgery to achieve her goal of smaller breasts.

5. Pamela Anderson: “Wants Her Original State”

Admittedly, as attractive as she was before surgery, she would not have become the celebrity icon she is today if it was not for her large implants. However in 1999, the Baywatch star was not happy with her big breasts and chose to remove them so she could go back to her “original state”.”

6. Jodie Marsh: “Just Plain Disgusting”

If you ask us, it just looks like Jodie Marsh’s implants are too big for her breast and chest wall. It appears that she has very little actual breast tissue, just massive implants. We just think that this is just too fake looking and would propose that she should look to reduce these babies via surgery.

7. Serena Kozakura: “Too Big To Steal”

This buxom Japanese model found out that her large breasts meant she could not make a career out of burglary. A court found her innocent of a crime after it was proven that she could not squeeze through a window due to the size of her bosom.

8. Chantelle Houghton: “Second Thoughts About Surgery”

The attractive star of British celebrity big brother – Chanttelle says that she is having second thoughts about cosmetic surgery to increase her chest from a B to a 32E. She told Heat magazine that “I wish I’d never had them done.”

Poor Chantelle now has to visit a doctor twice a week to deal with the back pain of having such heavy implants.

9. Courtney Love: “Hardening And Ripples”

In case you haven’t been awake since ‘92 , Courtney love was lead singer of the 90’s band Hole and wife of now deceased Kurt Cobain. Whilst at first she was happy with her larger breasts, she later reduced their size due to breast hardening and the appearance of ripples on her boobs.

10. Chelsea Charms: “11.8kg Per Breast”

To be fair, Chelsea is not much of a celebrity, but she does have a Wikipedia page! Unlike the rest of the celebrities here, Chelsea has used her super large breasts to create a career in the entertainment industry.

Now I don’t know about you, but I think these 10000cc –11.8kg breasts are just too big! Or is “too big” just not in your vocabulary?

Hi-5: Celebrity Goths

The word “goth” has almost been phased out in popular culture, replaced with “scene,” “emo,” and the like. This is rather unfortunate, all things considered: for while many goth males are irritating, pretentious, and pathetic, goth women have the potential to embody a very special, very unusual sort of hotness. Here’s five of them.

Evan Rachel Wood

Why not start off with the most unconventional entry on the list? One wouldn’t think to classify Evan Rachel Wood as a goth: she’s got the blonde, All-American Girl look going on, and she goes by her full, three-part name (whereas many goth women tend to go by one-word pseudonyms like “Lilith” or “Cambria”).

Hell, even examining the girl’s film career results in very little gothitude. One stereotypically counterculture character in Running With Scissors notwithstanding, Wood seems to portray generally “normal” roles.

However – and this is a big however – one need only examine her choice in men to know that, deep, deep down, Wood is a princess of the night. A few months ago, Wood started dating Marilyn Manson, and recent rumors suggest that the pair might even get married. Inaccurate rumors of pedophilia aside (Manson is literally twice Wood’s age), “have you ever dated Marilyn Manson” might as well be on the top of the “Are You A Goth” questionnaire, followed immediately by “is your skin the color of: chalk/milk/stucco (circle one)”. Marilyn Manson is a somewhat decent guy – there’s nothing particularly wrong with dating him, aside from the fact that it prevents you dating men who aren’t Marilyn Manson – but it stands to reason that if you exchange bodily fluids, you must have a little bit of goth in you.

Literally.

Liz Vicious

You know what’s really hard? Typing “Liz Vicious” into Google image search and finding a picture that isn’t at least 75% comprised of vajayjay.

Given the fact that Vicious is a porn star, she embodies a very specific subculture within the Goth society: the Gothslut. She, of course, makes a living out of it, but she also personifies that one chick everybody knew in high school who, for all her fishnets and mascara and black fingernails, would be more than willing to do the deed with anyone, should they take her to a late-night screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show and not insult The Cure.

In the realm of porn stars, Vicious is one of the more popular Goth actresses. I say “popular” loosely, because the whole goth craze hasn’t really caught on with mainstream porn (outside of occasionally dressing more popular actresses in faux-goth attire for one or two photoshoots, anyway). Still, though: she’s here, she’s goth, and she spends a great majority of her time on the Internet buck-ass naked.

Go ahead and do a Google search; I’ll wait.

Dita von Teese

Look, it’s Marilyn Manson girlfriend number two – or should I say, wife. Dita Von Teese was married to Manson for about a year, but filed from divorce for him when he started quasi-dating – wait for it – Evan Rachel Wood. On second thought, maybe Marilyn Manson is kind of a douchebag.

Anyway, Von Teese is considered one of the biggest burlesque models working in America today. It’s widely considered (and by “widely,” I mean “Wikipedia says so”) that Von Teese helped instigate the modern burlesque revival in the mainstream modeling scene. Yeah, I didn’t know there had been a revival, either.

From her dyed black hair (it’s naturally blonde) to her classic build, Von Teese is the spitting image of Bettie Page, or any other sexy burlesque model of the time. In the 1940’s, Von Teese would have been considered a popular underground sex symbol: today, she toes the line between underground and mainstream, but her intentionally retro style and damn near black-and-white body do make her something of a neo-goth. Her personality doesn’t necessarily suggest this (Manson notwithstanding), but it’s impossible to say that the same men who find Goth chicks attractive wouldn’t also find Von Teese pretty damn hot.

Asia Argento

A pretty talented chick in her own right, Asia Argento (daughter of horror legend Dario Argento) has directed and written a few films of her own, in addition to starring in everything from arthouse fare to American horror schlock (Land of the Dead).

The Italian beauty combines the body of a model with the attitude of an artist and the face of a very attractive goth who may or may not have had a heroin addiction in the past.

It’s almost erroneous to pigeonhole her into the simple “goth” stereotype, but it fits in many ways – she writes poetry, she has several tattoos (including an enormous angel on her crotch), and she writes films with titles like “The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things.” If the goth shoe fits, wear it, have a great deal of sex with it, and then ask it to speak Italian to you while you drift to sleep.

Rose McGowan

Perhaps the queen of quasi-mainstream goth chicks, Rose McGowan earned the number one spot pretty damn easily. In addition to having dated Marilyn Manson for a hell of a long time (hardly a surprise at this point in the list), the woman also starred in a TV show about goddamned witches, not to mention her appearance in one of the most nihilistic, goth-centric American films of the 1990’s (The Doom Generation – look out for the scene where a guy jerks off whilst watching two people have sex, and then licks the semen off his hand).

Additionally, McGowan’s home life seems like the sort of thing most Goths wish they could have lived through, just so they’d have an excuse to be miserable all the time. Without getting into lengthy specifics, consider the fact that Rose McGowan only did Bio-Dome to pay for her drug-addicted brother’s legal fees.

Beyond her personality, McGowan simply looks like the ideal Goth woman: she has a great body, black hair, insanely pale skin, and a face that makes one think that a plastic surgeon removed McGowan’s original face, replaced it with a makeshift model made up of Marilyn Monroe’s features, gave it a butt-chin, then smashed it with a tenderizing mallet a few times before reforming the whole thing. McGowan is one of those actresses who can look insanely hot given the right circumstances (Grindhouse), or slightly demonic in the wrong ones (the premiere for Grindhouse). Plastic surgery does that to you.

Top 26 sexiest women in horror

Over the years, horror films have produce some of the sexiest girls ever seen on screen.

Whether it’s an attractive blonde kicking the crap out of anything with sharp teeth, sultry vampires wanting to suck you dry or busty babes who are destined to be hacked to pieces the minute they decide to go off to the woods with the local jock, it’s a winning formula.

If we were psychologist we would say their appeal has something to do with wanting to rescue damsels in distress.

But we actually think it has more to do with the fact horror films are usually stocked with a seemingly never-ending supply of teenage girls desperate to get their kit off.

But just who are the real Queens of Scream?

Well, Hecklerspray has decided to come up with a list. Just take in mind there are whole load of horror babes to filter down into just 26, so please feel free to suggest your own. Not that you usually need any encouragement.

Enjoy.

26. Kim Poirier
Notable horror appearance: Dawn of the Dead (2004)

She’s the one in the clip prancing around in her underwear if you are not sure.

25. Adrienne Barbeau
Notable horror appearances: The Fog (1980), The Twilight Zone (1985), Creepshow (1982)

She’s the radio host with the sexy voice in The Fog. Still not sure, OK, she was one of the sexy girls in the lamborghini that kept flashing her breasts at policemen in Cannonball Run. Now you got it!!
Anyway, enjoy the clip of her in The Fog trailer. It’s terrible.

24. Anne Parillaud
Notable horror appearance: Innocent Blood (1992)

She’s so sexy in Innocent Blood you forget just how terrible it is.

23. Angie Everhart
Notable horror appearance: Bordello of Blood (1996)

Has to be the sexiest ever portrayal of a vampire prostitute.

22. Soledad Miranda
Notable horror appearances: Vampyros Lesbos (1971) and a whole lot more

True scream queen.

21. Jennifer Tilly
Notable film appearance: Bride of Chucky (1998)

Not sure about her acting, but she’s certainly hot.

20. Shannon Elizabeth
Notable horror appearances: Thir13en Ghosts (2001) and, errr, Jack Frost (1996)

Check out the clip. Humped to death by a snowman. That’s no way to die.

19. Naomi Watts
Notable horror film: The Ring

Of course, the clip I wanted to put in is the one in Mulholland Drive, but I just could not justify it.

18. Rose McGowan
Notable horror appearances: Planet Terror (2007), Scream (1996)

The hottest thing on, errrr, one leg.

17. Jenny Agutter
Notable horror appearance: An American Werewolf in London (1981)

Jenny Agutter as a slutty nurse. Brilliant.

16. Neve Campbell
Notable horror appearances: Scream series (1996-2000)

Would have been higher, apart from the fact that I personally do not rate her. I just knew if I missed her out, people would be very unhappy.

15. Jamie Lee Curtis
Notable horror appearances: Halloween series (1978-2007), The Fog (1980)

A true scream queen with one of the finest racks in Hollywood. Not bad for a man.

14. Ingrid Pitt
Notable horror appearances: Countess Dracula (1971)

A true horror legend and sexy to boot.

13. Kate Beckinsale
Notable horror appearances: Underworld series (2003-2006)

We’re not huge fans of Kate Beckinsale or Underworld, but you got to just love that outfit.

12. Fay Wray
Notable horror appearances: King Kong (1933), Doctor X (1932), The Vampire Bat (1933)

Great pair of lungs.

11. Salma Hayek
Notable horror appearance: From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)

One of our favourite ever scenes.

10. Asia Argento
Notable horror appearance: Land of the Dead (2005)

Asia is perfect scream queen material: she’s tough, sexy and isn’t afraid to get her breasts out.

9. Janet Leigh
Notable horror appearance: Psycho (1960)

Now that’s what I call a shower scene.

8. Edwige Fenech
Notable horror appearances: Hostel II (2007), Case Of The Bloody Iris (1972)

Very sexy, French-born Italian actress more noted for her ‘erotic comedies’. By the way, she’s not the one getting stabbed at the beginning of the clip. She’s the dark-haired on a bit later.

7. Monica Keena
Notable horror appearance: Freddie v Jason (2003)

OK, the film was a load of rubbish, but she was certainly worth watching. Not sure why they deleted the scene above though.

6. Eliza Dushku
Notable horror appearances: Wrong Turn (2003), Buffy, Angel…

5. Barbara Steele
Notable horror appearances: Too many to list

One of the greatest and sexiest scream queens of all time. But don’t take my word for it. Let Clive Barker fill you in.

4. Linnea Quigley
Notable horror appearances: The Return of the Living Dead (1985) and loads more

A true horror legend. That scene in The Return of the Living Dead will live long in the memory. OK, the clip above is not that great.

3. Anna Falchi
Notable horror appearance: Dellamorte Dellamore (1994)

She’s so sexy even Rupert Everitt fancies her.

2. Jennifer Love Hewitt
Notable horror appearance: I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997)

We just love the Hewitt.

1. Sarah Michelle-Gellar
Notable horror appearances: Buffy, I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997), Scream 2 (1997), The Grudge (2004)

It was a tough call between her and Jennifer Love Hewitt, but Buffy wins by the fact she kicks ass and is in more horror films. OK, the clip has nothing to do with horror, but who cares.

Top 10 Celebrity Butterfaces

It’s happened to all of us. You see a chick with long luscious legs. Right above those is a tight, firm rear. Next is their slim waist and chiseled abs. And then comes the breasts. Either large and augmented or natural and perky, it doesn’t matter, they all have them and they are spectacular.

But then she turns around or you get a good look at her face and it makes your stomach turn. Collagen swollen lips, cheeks tucked into foreheads and man-like features are enough to disappoint any man. It’s a case of the butterface.

These aren’t your girl next doors, but as celebrities, we’d like to think these women have to be held to a higher standard. So here are our top ten women that are super-hot from the neck-down but need some work upstairs.

10. Hilary Swank

She was in Boys Don’t Cry where she won an Oscar for playing a man in a movie. That pretty much assures that you won’t be on Victoria’s Secret short list for their next Angel. But when you sculpt your body into a machine with chiseled abs, tight ass, and toned everything, men will take notice. Too bad getting your next Oscar makes you perfect as a look-alike for a butch chick boxer.

9. April Scott

Nothing can compare to April’s long legs, a spectacular ass and great tits in a g-string and push-up bra. Too bad the compliments end there. She’s yet another “model” who’s posed in too many face flattering over-the-shoulder shots. Her claims to fame are b-listed to no end. Only thumb-nailed shots trick you into thinking she’s actually hot.

8. Haylie Duff

The gene pool in this family got a little shallow after younger sister Hilary graced us with her presence. Poor, poor Haylie got the short end of the stick when it came to the neck-up department, and is doomed to forever be Hillary’s older, uglier sister. But with her smoking body she’s assured a pity lay by some B-actor and continued “fame.”

7. Christina Ricci

When your first major role is on the Addams Family as Wednesday, you know you're going to make this list. Peel the Goth gear away though and she’ll make any man howl. She showed what she had in Prozac Nation and her all-natural body isn’t as scary as her face. There’s no wonder why Samuel Jackson would slap a leash on her and keep her as a pet. Now that’s what I call reparations.

6. Lisa Rinna

This Former Days of Our Lives cast member and more recently “contestant” on Dancing with the Stars certainly has a body that won’t quit. And for being 43 and popping out two kids, her body is one of the best in the business. Too bad she couldn’t resist buying some DSLs that make her face look utterly busted and ridiculous.

5. Rebecca Loos

Rebecca is more proof guys think with their other, smaller head. As personal assistant to billionaire David Beckham, it’s clear what two credentials got her hired. That, and the fact that she’s openly bisexual. Taking that into consideration it’s easy to forgive Beckham for not looking directly at her face when he hired her.

4. Tori Spelling

With a face like hers only two things could get her a big break on a show filled with beautiful people: her smoking body and her last name. But there she is, cast as the ugly best friend the other hot chicks in Beverly Hills confide in. Only a paper bag makes her bangable - that and the piles of money daddy gave her.

3. Vida Guerra

With a body (and ass) like hers it’s easy to forget what Vida actually looks like. But inevitably, one's eyes wander above the torso and neck area and after that it’s game over. Once again, cunning photographers put her best asset forward while keeping her looking over her shoulder in that all too familiar busted-face pose. She better watch out, the guy with the ugly stick is still right behind her.

2. Carmit

The only Pussycat Doll that could make you say me-ewww once you got a good look at her. It’s a good thing they keep her at or near the back of the pack. Even her magazine “glamour” shots conveniently place her in the busted-face over-the-shoulder-ass-protruding pose. She is living proof that sometimes talent and a smoking body alone can make you a sex symbol.

1. Fergie

Fergie started as the hot chick in the Black Eyed Peas and was the only reason to sit through one of their music videos. Her dancer inspired body is one of the hardest and hottest in the music and entertainment industry. Now her solo career has thrust her into the limelight and it’s way too bright. Besides her gnarly man-hands, the good doctor got a tad ambitious with all the nips, tucks and peels, making her look downright scary.

Don’t think that you got off easy if you weren’t on this list. Some un-honorable mentions include:

Chloe Sevigny: She is better known for her on-screen BJ and happy ending than her headshots.

Gina Gershon: She’s got a smoking body but her gi-normous lips make her look like a bee attack victim.

Nikki Cox: With her long legs and great boobs she gets us all excited until you get a good look at her joker-like face.