10 things women want in a man & how to get them!

According to various women’s magazines, women are not just looking for a Brad Pitt look-a-like who’s rich, no the top 10 things they want in a man (and how you can get them), are the following:

1) Honesty

Once she read all his emails, she truely trusted him.

Apparently the number one trait women look for in a man is “honesty”, which is ironic because we would take a hot lying girl any day over an ugly honest one. Nonetheless when women say they want a man to be honest, what I think they really mean is, that they want us to give status updates throughout the day of our whereabouts so that they can be secure in the knowledge that we have not escaped their clutches. What I am almost certain they don’t mean is for us to say something like: “Yes, your bum does look big in those jeans. Put the Dairy Milk down.”

How to get: As any man knows the only way to make a women trust you implicitly, is to give her complete and unfettered access to your mobile phone, and also all the passwords to your email/Facebook accounts.

2) Intelligence

Playa!

Women can be quite demanding, and the second biggest trait that they look for in a man is “intelligence”. This of course flies directly in the face of the evidence available for anyone with eyes to see, for example: most professional athletes are not renowned for their intelligence yet seemingly are intelligent enough to get some of the hottest women in the world, whilst I never saw Stephen Hawking with no playboy bunnies. (Editor’s note: Unbelievably Stephen Hawking has not only been married but he also cheated on his wife! And I found that photo.)

How to get: It is a fact that 64% of facts are made-up, if a woman dares to question your intelligence, baffle her with a made-up realistic sounding fact. For example: Did you know that proportionally an ant is stronger than a diamond?

3) Nice Smile

This is why Americans do not believe in social healthcare

In fairness this is not just a trait that women look for a man, more really a trait that the world looks for in a man. No one wants to look at a gob like that dude from The Pogues (see picture).

How to get: Good dental hygiene is your friend here. Also whitening strips might give you that “Hollywood smile” to dazzle all-comers.

4) Sense of Humor

Mitch Hedberg R.I.P.

Daily readers may remember that a “Sense of humor” is also one of the foundations of being cool (see, How To: Be Cool), and it also what women state implicitly is one of the most attractive features in a man. As a stand-up comedian of limited success, I know first hand this to be a lie. Well at least if you want to attract hot chicks.

How to get: Some say you cannot learn to be funny, that is a lie. Carlos Mencia proves it. Thus following Carlos’ example feel free to steal jokes and pass them off as your own. Also witty comebacks are good for demonstrating your sense of humor. Unfortunately, often you will not be able to come up with your comeback quick enough. That is okay, when regaling your friends with your story about your razor sharp comeback, simply remember to omit this fact.

5) Manners

It would be remiss of me to not point out the spot on the chin

Good manners are a subtle non-verbal clue that you have been brought up well, and so therefore maybe rich, which women tend to like. Also manners are the easiest of all these traits to acquire.

How to get: Hold open doors, say please and thank you, don’t put your elbows on the table, use your knife and fork correctly. It is not necessary to throw your jacket onto a puddle though for a woman - that will just make you look weird. And leave you with an unwanted dry-cleaning bill.

6) Sensitivity

Sad face : (

Chicks dig “sensitivity” - I’ve seen it in lots of movies. Famously this was a trait portrayed by Brandon Fraser in the 2000 remake of 1967 classic “Bedazzled” starring a scandalously dressed Elizabeth Hurley, when he was trying to clinch the deal with his love interest. However “Bedazzled” also threw up some words of caution, women don’t want a man who is too sensitive. Women want a man who is willing to say puppies are cute but at the same time beat up anyone who dares to besmirch their honor.

How to get: Instead of laughing during Bambi, pretend to cry. Express your solidarity (verbally) with people in worse off situations than yourself. Also make donations to those “charity muggers” in the street when with a women, being sure to immediately cancel the direct debit when you get home.

7) Sincerity

Russel Brand is a sincere guy

I’m not saying that women lack a little of the #2 trait that they are looking for, but in my eyes honesty and sincerity are pretty much the same thing. Having said that cachungas would probably make it twice in a list of what men look for in women so…

How to get: See above.

8) Gainfully employed

Where do I sign on?

Translation: Be rich. Trust me, women would rather be dating a jobless millionaire than a hardworking fast food operative any day of the week. For your own well-being, a job is a good goal to aspire to, however any job should always been performed with the words of the late Bill Hick’s ringing in your ears: “It’s just a job man, you’re lucky I turned up.”

How to get: US: http://www.usajobs.gov/, UK: http://www.jobcentreplus.gov.uk, Rest of world: http://www.google.com

9) Has own place

Why don't we watch a "DVD"?

Whilst no one can doubt that having your own place would be nice, the reality is that more and more young people are being forced to live with their parents due to the current cost of renting/buying a home. In spite of that damning statistic (which I never actually gave you) the reason women tend to look for guys’ with their own place, is so that they can go back to theirs to “watch DVDs” - and by DVDs, I mean “make out”. So it is in your own benefit to flee your mother’s cock blocking lair.

How to get: Save up money, then check out craigslist.

10) Owns a car

*sigh* I want one

Women want a man with a car? Oh now they’re just pushing it! Who can afford to run a car in today’s current economic climate? As Eddie Griffin said: “Whatever happened to loving a gentleman* with a bus pass?”. I negate the need for a car by only dating women within the reach of public transport.

How to get: Other than doing a “GTA” and robbing a car, you can borrow your dad’s family saloon and look like the young hipster you are. Or you can simply say that your Porshe/Enzo/McLaren (delete as appropriate) is in the garage. Hopefully they wont check up on you.
* removed offensive racist word and replaced with a more family friendly term.

What Modern Men Want in Women

What do men want in a woman? Brains? Beauty? Vacuuming prowess?

Researchers at the University of Iowa find that men increasingly are interested in intelligent, educated women who are financially stable — and chastity isn't an issue.

The findings are part of a study, conducted every decade since 1939, which asks participants to rank a list of 18 characteristics they would want in a partner on a scale ranging from "irrelevant" to "essential." Included are such items as "sociability" and "good cook, housekeeper," as well as "mutual attraction and love," which came in first place for both men and women in 2008. (In 1939, it wasn't in the top three for either sex.)

Male and female participants in 2008 rounded out their top traits with "dependable character" and "emotional stability, maturity." Men ranked intelligence fourth, a big jump from 11th place in 1939; in addition, "good financial prospect" moved to 12th place in 2008, a shift from its low 17th-place ranking in 1939 and last-place ranking in 1967.

"This is a generation of men who has grown up with educated women as their mothers, teachers, doctors, and role models," said Christine Whelan, head of the study and author of "Marry Smart: The Intelligent Woman's Guide to True Love" (Simon & Schuster, 2008). "And in tough economic times, sharing the financial burden with a spouse takes the burden off these guys to be the sole provider."

The study's participants were college students from the University of Iowa, the University of Washington, the University of Virginia, and Penn State University.

"Like attracts like, so certainly the fact that we were polling college students would suggest that intelligence and education are going to be important characteristics," Whelan says.

Another notable shift involves the significance of chastity: In 1939, it was valued more than intelligence in women, but in 2008, it was ranked the least important characteristic. Furthermore, it also was ranked the least important for men. This, coupled with the shared top-three ranking for both men and women, suggests a commonality that seems positively modern-day.

Wealthy men give women more orgasms

Scientists have found that the pleasure women get from making love is directly linked to the size of their partner’s bank balance.

They found that the wealthier a man is, the more frequently his partner has orgasms.

“Women’s orgasm frequency increases with the income of their partner,” said Dr Thomas Pollet, the Newcastle University psychologist behind the research.

He believes the phenomenon is an “evolutionary adaptation” that is hard-wired into women, driving them to select men on the basis of their perceived quality.

The study is certain to prove controversial, suggesting that women are inherently programmed to be gold-diggers.

However, it fits into a wider body of research known as evolutionary psychology which suggests that both men and women are genetically predisposed to ruthlessly exploit each other to achieve the best chances of survival for their genes.

The female orgasm is the focus of much research because it appears to have no reproductive purpose. Women can become pregnant whatever their pleasure levels.

Pollet, and Professor Daniel Nettle, his co-author, believed, however, that the female orgasm is an evolutionary adaptation that drives women to choose and retain high-quality partners.

He and Nettle tested that idea using data gathered in one of the world’s biggest lifestyle studies. The Chinese Health and Family Life Survey targeted 5,000 people across China for in-depth interviews about their personal lives, including questions about their sex lives, income and other factors. Among these were 1,534 women with male partners whose data was the basis for the study.

They found that 121 of these women always had orgasms during sex, while 408 more had them “often”. Another 762 “sometimes” orgasmed while 243 had them rarely or never. Such figures are similar to those for western countries.

There were of course, several factors involved in such differences but, said Pollet, money was one of the main ones.

He said: “Increasing partner income had a highly positive effect on women’s self-reported frequency of orgasm. More desirable mates cause women to experience more orgasms.”

This is not an effect limited to Chinese women. Previous research in Germany and America has looked at attributes such as body symmetry and attractiveness, finding that these are also linked with orgasm frequency. Money, however, seems even more important.

David Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas, Austin, who raised this question in his book The Evolution of Desire believes female orgasms have several possible purposes.

“They could promote emotional bonding with a high-quality male or they could serve as a signal that women are highly sexually satisfied, and hence unlikely to seek sex with other men,” he said. “What those orgasms are saying is ‘I'm extremely loyal, so you should invest in me and my children’."

Men look at women's breasts first and their face is almost last: Research

Scientific proff men do look at women's breasts first .... Miss Universe Australia Rachael Finch, who has 34/86 chest and 35/89 hips. Source: AP

WOMEN have long complained that their faces are often the last thing men look at - and now a scientific study has proved them right.

Researchers found that virtually half - 47 per cent - of men first glance at a woman’s breasts.

A third of the "first fixations" are on the waist and hips, while fewer than 20 per cent look at the woman's face.

Not only are breasts often the first thing men look at, they also glance at them for longer than any other body part, the experts discovered, the Daily Mail newspaper in the UK reported.

It’s thought that the reason might be evolutionary, as women with larger chests and slim waists - such as Jennifer Hawkins, Lara Bingle and Rachael Finch - have higher levels of the female hormone oestrogen, indicating greater fertility.

But the researchers conceded that there could be a more prosaic explanation.

"Men may be looking more often at the breasts because they are simply aesthetically pleasing, regardless of the size," they said.

Subjects tested by researchers from New Zealand’s University of Wellington were presented with six images of the same woman, digitally altered to increase or decrease the size of her bust, waist and hips.

The scientists recorded which areas men looked at first, the number of times they looked, and how long their gaze lasted, using cameras and mirrors to measure tiny eye movements.

"Eighty per cent of first fixations were on the breasts and midriff. Men spent consistently more time looking at the breasts and also made significantly more fixations upon them than other regions," the study concluded.

It also found that men began to gaze at the "components of the hourglass figure" within 0.2 seconds.

The research also discovered that few glances were directed at the arms, lower legs and feet.

More Articles

• Top Ten “Women who grow on you”
• Breasts of Aussie women getting larger
• 10 things women want in a man & how to get them!
• What Modern Men Want in Women
• Wealthy men give women more orgasms
• Women are shocked by their new Bra Size

15 Essential Differences Between Men and Women

The more politically correct individuals will cry foul at any mention of double standards or reinforced stereotypes in the division between men and women. The realists out there will simply nod, and even laugh where appropriate, since it’s just plain truth in most cases that certain significant differences to exist between the sexes. There are exceptions to every rule, but for the most part, these 15 points of contention provide for easy ways to perpetuate the rift been the two disparate halves of humanity.

Urinary Protocol

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It’s really quite simple: Men have stringent rules they follow to make using the bathroom a quick, efficient, and silent. It’s business, whereas for women, it’s a social event. Women will go to the restroom as a group, and use the time to discuss a full range of topics. Men go as far as to have rules set in place to ensure standardized utilization of personal space, as well as a code of silence and overall conduct when in the restroom with other men. The two schools of practice couldn’t possibly be any more different.

Hygiene Rituals

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Take one look in a woman’s purse, or for that matter, notice the fact that women need purses at all, and this one becomes all too clear. A man’s bathroom sink might have a maximum of five items, including soap and a razor, whereas a woman’s bathroom will contain so many beauty products that the sink cannot possibly hold even a fraction of them. There will be a large cache under the sink, behind the mirror, and ringing the tub. The collection will be so immense, that a portion of it will permanently reside in the woman’s purse. Entire cabinets are usually added to the bathroom to hold more, as her collection expands, and all the while she will swear that each item is necessary.

Bedding Requirements

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A man can fall asleep anywhere, under any circumstances, and sleep well. Many men even prefer sleeping on the couch, as opposed to using the expensive mattress in the bedroom. In fact, many men’s mattresses are unused unless he has a woman over to share it with him. Women feel the need for not only the softest mattress on the market, but extravagant and voluminous piles of pillows, pillow-tops, and pillowy comforters, each in groups and layers, covering the bed until it no longer presents any sort of usably flat surface to sleep upon. Men usually admit to finding these beds immediately comfortable, but report aching backs for the rest of their lives because of them.

Humor

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Men have the uncanny ability to find nearly anything humorous. Funny is funny, and whether the joke is appropriate or not doesn’t matter to most guys. Women, on the other hand, take offense rather quickly if they feel a subject is taboo, and they’re pretty vocal about it. Any man who’s ever worked in an office environment knows this all too well, and many have suffered repercussions from the nagging cubicle-neighbor that overheard the random off-color joke and went to HR about it. This same problem makes women hate most comedy movies guys count as their favorites.

Food

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When men go grocery shopping, they basically stock up on meat, and things that enhance meat, like bread, or cheese, or different types of meat for layering with bread and cheese. Men can be perfectly happy eating the same burger, sausage, or steak every night of the week. Women, on the other hand, would rather eat something that looks pretty than tastes like food. They make eating such an ordeal that it becomes a hassle to even bother, and this is partly the reason they are able to cope with eating so little. The compromise between these two views is always interesting as the kitchen-drama plays out in new relationships.

Aesthetics – Colors, Decoration, Design

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We look at a blue swatch and call it what it is; blue. Women look at the same swatch and declare it to be periwinkle blue. They then proceed to harangue us for not knowing our basic colors. This same mentality spans the entire gamut of design and aesthetics on a daily basis. Men quickly give up on any notion that they’ll be involved in decorating the house in any way, and find solace in the garage, where the distinct lack of any visually pleasing surfaces acts as a deterrent to most women on a home-makeover binge.

Fashion

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Jeans and a t-shirt — the quintessential male uniform. The truly amazing thing about this robust combination of garments is the innate customizability. A man can create any number of combinations by simply changing his shirt. Women will require no less than three closets to hold their expansive wardrobes, and that’s not including the separate shoe-racks that will hang from doors, and take space under the bed. Men will often compete to see who can actually wear the most relaxed outfit as a display of manly comfort, whereas women are in constant competition with each other over who can appear to be the most glamorous of the bunch. They will do this for no apparent reason.

Children and Animals

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To put it simply, women mollycoddle children and animals to a ridiculous extent. Kids are babied to the point that they aren’t allowed to get dirty, and dogs are ripped from their nobility and turned into dolls. Men, on the other hand, treat dogs as friends, cats as worthy adversaries, and children as miniature humans who should be held accountable for their own actions. The difference between the two standpoints is staggering.

Automobiles and Driving

The above footage shows, more or less, what every man is trying to say when he proclaims that women cannot drive. On top of that, every single part or piece of equipment on or about an automobile is known to women as a thingy. As for men, these things come a bit more naturally to them.

Technology

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Women, for the most part, seem to have a mental block when it comes to handling anything technological with any sort of finesse or intuition. Men will instinctively begin figuring out how equipment works, what it does, what it can do, and what it’s good for, whereas women tend to require instruction, from a man, who preferably wears a name tag. Most women will gladly pay money to a kid in a Geek Squad outfit just to plug three simple wires into the back of her television, even after her male friends explain to her that the wires and plugs are color-coded.

Emotions and Stress

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The ways men and women handle stress are fundamentally different. Men generally handle bad situations by reacting in a proactive manner, feeling compelled to find a solution. Women almost invariably have the well-known panic reaction. Proof of this can be had any of the 13 times a day that women can be found crying, inexplicably.

Memories, both Good and Bad

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Men have short memories. This sad fact routinely gets us in trouble as we forget the birthdays of our wives, mothers, sisters, even children. It also allows us to forgive and forget, bury the hatchet, and roll with the punches. Women remember everything, and they will never, ever let an issue die. You may forget what you did wrong, but a woman will remind you of it until the day you die. They will hold grudges, whether it’s with you, or their former bff, for years.

Communication

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Men will communicate quickly and efficiently, with as little hassle as possible. If it’s easier to relay a message via third party, email, text message, or courier pigeon, then that’s how a man will communicate. Women feel the need to spend roughly one third of their waking hours talking. Whether they’re talking on the phone, or in person, women just plain talk too much. When she’s not busy yapping, she’ll be texting, or emailing, or both simultaneously. Men simply don’t feel the need to spend so much time communicating what doesn’t need to be expressed right away.

Punctuality and Time Sense

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Men tend to be on time to planned events. They get to the theater early enough to get a good seat, and they get to the restaurant on time when invited out. Men don’t like being late, because it makes them look like they’re not in control. Women behave the exact polar opposite — they’re simply always late. They make it a point to be as late as possible, at all times, as though it were some sort of gauge for how much work they put into their appearance.

Multitasking and Focus

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Women always harp on men for their supposed lack of multitasking prowess, when in reality it’s just that men aren’t as frivolous in their focus. Women insist on doing 47 things at once, without any consideration for the safety of themselves or others. They will constantly talk about how flustered they are, and how they narrowly averted disaster while not paying attention to their surroundings. Some women are just one diagnosis shy of being clinically ADHD, and some have even died due to their inability to focus on one single task.

The Male-O-Drome: 15 Things Men Lose to Relationships

While on the whole, relationships are universally recognized as a good thing, and strived for, there are certain drawbacks that must be equally recognized. The fact is that men literally live two different lives; there’s the single man, and then there is the committed man. Men are usually forced to go through both stages several times before finally settling into one or the other, but the two lifestyles are distinct. These 15 freedoms make up the basic framework of those things we lose when transitioning between the single life, and finally committing to that long sought-after relationship.

Games and Toys

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This one is especially painful, so much so that many men start weaning themselves off random gadgetry while still single in an attempt to minimize future losses. You like motorcycles? They’re too dangerous. You want six different gaming consoles? You’ll be lucky if she lets you keep just one. Toys are for boys, men spend their money on more sensible things, like Volvo’s and kitchen appliances.

Hanging Out With the Guys

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It can be heard echoing around the halls of many a tap-room: “Another good man gone.” When men are with women, they’re completely with them. There’s just no way out of it, in order to really cement a committed relationship, a man must spend time with his woman, and that time is generally the same time his friends want to hang out. When he does finally have time to hang out, his friends are either at work or sleeping for once. This is a sad fact of life. Get used to being the third wheel while your girl chats it up with her bff from work. Oh, and all the cosmo’s are on you too, so bring your wallet.

Your Work Focus

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One of the nice things about being single that gets noticed is success at work. If you’ve got no significant other to preoccupy yourself with, then you are able to completely pour yourself into your work, entirely without any negative consequences. Your bank account will swell and your boss will love you; your family and friends all see what a success you are, you’re the go-to guy at the company. Enter your love interest. Oh how quickly things change…

Keeping Your Own Schedule

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You haven’t had to follow somebody else’s schedule since you were in grade school, but that changes when you get yourself a girlfriend. It’s just not kosher to run around until three in the morning when she’s at home waiting for you, and skipping dinner won’t work either. Get used to a bit more structured schedule than what you’re used to.

No Drama, No Arguments

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The only arguments you might have single are probably with your best friend over which movie Monica Bellucci hottest in, or what beer tastes better. That’s not how life in a relationship is. There are fights all the time, and they’re usually over nothing.

Having Money

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This is a no-brainer. We may live in a modern society, but let’s face it, some things just don’t change. Men have more money when they’re single, it’s a fact, that’s all there is too it. Get a girlfriend, spend more money, a lot more. It’s up to you to decide how much is too much, but if you’re like most of us, that line gets crossed pretty regularly, and with a smile on your face.

Getting Lucky

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Even if you do manage to get some time out on the town with the guys every now and then, it just won’t be like it used to be. There will be text messages or phone calls, and you’ll have to return them. You won’t be anxious about the possibilities, because you already know how the night will end. You may not even be out that long, since keeping it responsible means keeping it down to just a couple of beers. Things just aren’t like they used to be anymore.

Random Travel on a Whim

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Feel like taking a few well-earned sick days this week and grabbing the cheapest discount round-trip flight out of here? That kind of spontaneity gets girls to notice you, but it doesn’t fly anymore when one of them becomes a permanent fixture in your life. The random road-trips, the hosteling in Europe, the weekends on your buddy’s couch in Denver, it all comes to an end when you share a bed.

Eating Whatever You Want

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Cold pizza for breakfast, three energy drinks by lunch, and a double cheese before you hit the bar may be an average Wednesday now, but that’s going to change. You’ll be lucky to keep coffee in your morning agenda, as you’ll be submitted to every form of tofu-laden, green tea enhanced torture that your new squeeze can come up with. The only burgers you may be seeing will be tofurkey. You could keep the good stuff if you rope a chick who appreciates the food men love, but she’s probably not going to fit in the size zero panties you want on your floor.

Decorating Your Own Place

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It’s become a goal of every woman to someday conquer and renovate a man cave, a phrase they’ve proliferated in their merciless quest to further Ikea’s dominance across the globe. The countless man-hours you’ve spent collecting the perfect eclectic mix of nonsense materials to give your place that touch of you will be stripped of all character and whitewashed into art deco oblivion the moment her toothbrush hits your sink.

Sleeping Whenever, and Wherever You Want

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You won’t have the luxury of passing out on any flat surface within sight anymore once a woman enters your life. You will be all but required to sleep with her, where she sleeps, when she sleeps, for as long as she sleeps. No more sleeping in, unless she wants to, and no more night-owling either. Nocturnal gamers rue the day they finally acquire a girlfriend, as those kinds of hours aren’t for respectable couples.

Interest in Physical Fitness

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You probably keep yourself in pretty good shape while single and on the prowl, since you kind of need to. Since being physically attractive is probably about 90% responsible for success in the dating game, it’s only natural that you attempt to keep yourself in check. Unfortunately, the first thing to go when you’ve got a girl is your physique. It’s tough to keep that will-power when she’s telling you that you’re cute with that double bacon cheeseburger and chocolate malt.

Drinking All Day

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Waking up at seven in the morning to a shot of bourbon is no longer an option when in a relationship. You can still drink, but the purpose behind that drinking is different now — it used to be in an overall attempt to get laid, and now it’s just part of socializing, and has a very low cap placed on it. Your drinking days are effectively over, unless you scored a lush, in which case you’re both going to end up in rehab.

Dressing Any Way You Want, and Still Getting Chicks to Flirt With You

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Mismatched argyle socks and ironic t-shirts with blazer combinations may get you results now, while you wander in and out of bars freely, but you’re in for a surprise if you think your new girlfriend is going to let you get away with that for long. Sure, she thought it was cute at first, but she’s not about to let you meet her parents dressed like that.

Picking Your Own Music, TV Shows, and Movies

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It’s one of those things that most men just don’t think about — until it’s too late. The music we listen to while driving those long trips out of town, the TV shows we watch every week, our favorite movies, they all fall victim. Your girlfriend will quickly gain control of the remote control, and she will always have her favorite song of the moment playing in the car. When the newest movie based on a comic you loved as a kid comes out this summer, you can wave to its poster while you’re dragged into the new Twilight installment by your loving other half.

Men not choosy about one-night stands

Men are far less choosy about the attractiveness of a potential one-night stand than women, who look for a hottie to be tempted into casual sex, a research suggests.

The findings by Dr Achim Schutzwohl, from the Department of Psychology at Brunel University in the UK, and his team show that men lower their standards while women raise their standards when it comes to one-night stands.

“While men are not entirely insensitive to their requestor's attractiveness, women have higher standards and are more likely to engage in casual sex with an exceptionally attractive man than with a less attractive man,” the authors concluded in their research, published online in the journal Human Nature.

The study, which involved 427 male and 433 female students from the United States, Germany and Italy, tried to look into the role played by physical attractiveness in their willingness to "go out" with someone, "go to their flat", or "go to bed" with them. Participants were asked to imagine being approached by a member of the opposite sex, described as either "slightly unattractive".

In response to the sex request, men indicated an average likelihood of 46, a whopping figure compared with women's average rating of just 4, according to the study, reported by the Live Science online.

Source: Hindustan Times