While on the whole, relationships are universally recognized as a good thing, and strived for, there are certain drawbacks that must be equally recognized. The fact is that men literally live two different lives; there’s the single man, and then there is the committed man. Men are usually forced to go through both stages several times before finally settling into one or the other, but the two lifestyles are distinct. These 15 freedoms make up the basic framework of those things we lose when transitioning between the single life, and finally committing to that long sought-after relationship.
Games and Toys
This one is especially painful, so much so that many men start weaning themselves off random gadgetry while still single in an attempt to minimize future losses. You like motorcycles? They’re too dangerous. You want six different gaming consoles? You’ll be lucky if she lets you keep just one. Toys are for boys, men spend their money on more sensible things, like Volvo’s and kitchen appliances.
Hanging Out With the Guys
It can be heard echoing around the halls of many a tap-room: “Another good man gone.” When men are with women, they’re completely with them. There’s just no way out of it, in order to really cement a committed relationship, a man must spend time with his woman, and that time is generally the same time his friends want to hang out. When he does finally have time to hang out, his friends are either at work or sleeping for once. This is a sad fact of life. Get used to being the third wheel while your girl chats it up with her bff from work. Oh, and all the cosmo’s are on you too, so bring your wallet.
Your Work Focus
One of the nice things about being single that gets noticed is success at work. If you’ve got no significant other to preoccupy yourself with, then you are able to completely pour yourself into your work, entirely without any negative consequences. Your bank account will swell and your boss will love you; your family and friends all see what a success you are, you’re the go-to guy at the company. Enter your love interest. Oh how quickly things change…
Keeping Your Own Schedule
You haven’t had to follow somebody else’s schedule since you were in grade school, but that changes when you get yourself a girlfriend. It’s just not kosher to run around until three in the morning when she’s at home waiting for you, and skipping dinner won’t work either. Get used to a bit more structured schedule than what you’re used to.
No Drama, No Arguments
The only arguments you might have single are probably with your best friend over which movie Monica Bellucci hottest in, or what beer tastes better. That’s not how life in a relationship is. There are fights all the time, and they’re usually over nothing.
Having Money
This is a no-brainer. We may live in a modern society, but let’s face it, some things just don’t change. Men have more money when they’re single, it’s a fact, that’s all there is too it. Get a girlfriend, spend more money, a lot more. It’s up to you to decide how much is too much, but if you’re like most of us, that line gets crossed pretty regularly, and with a smile on your face.
Getting Lucky
Even if you do manage to get some time out on the town with the guys every now and then, it just won’t be like it used to be. There will be text messages or phone calls, and you’ll have to return them. You won’t be anxious about the possibilities, because you already know how the night will end. You may not even be out that long, since keeping it responsible means keeping it down to just a couple of beers. Things just aren’t like they used to be anymore.
Random Travel on a Whim
Feel like taking a few well-earned sick days this week and grabbing the cheapest discount round-trip flight out of here? That kind of spontaneity gets girls to notice you, but it doesn’t fly anymore when one of them becomes a permanent fixture in your life. The random road-trips, the hosteling in Europe, the weekends on your buddy’s couch in Denver, it all comes to an end when you share a bed.
Eating Whatever You Want
Cold pizza for breakfast, three energy drinks by lunch, and a double cheese before you hit the bar may be an average Wednesday now, but that’s going to change. You’ll be lucky to keep coffee in your morning agenda, as you’ll be submitted to every form of tofu-laden, green tea enhanced torture that your new squeeze can come up with. The only burgers you may be seeing will be tofurkey. You could keep the good stuff if you rope a chick who appreciates the food men love, but she’s probably not going to fit in the size zero panties you want on your floor.
Decorating Your Own Place
It’s become a goal of every woman to someday conquer and renovate a man cave, a phrase they’ve proliferated in their merciless quest to further Ikea’s dominance across the globe. The countless man-hours you’ve spent collecting the perfect eclectic mix of nonsense materials to give your place that touch of you will be stripped of all character and whitewashed into art deco oblivion the moment her toothbrush hits your sink.
Sleeping Whenever, and Wherever You Want
You won’t have the luxury of passing out on any flat surface within sight anymore once a woman enters your life. You will be all but required to sleep with her, where she sleeps, when she sleeps, for as long as she sleeps. No more sleeping in, unless she wants to, and no more night-owling either. Nocturnal gamers rue the day they finally acquire a girlfriend, as those kinds of hours aren’t for respectable couples.
Interest in Physical Fitness
You probably keep yourself in pretty good shape while single and on the prowl, since you kind of need to. Since being physically attractive is probably about 90% responsible for success in the dating game, it’s only natural that you attempt to keep yourself in check. Unfortunately, the first thing to go when you’ve got a girl is your physique. It’s tough to keep that will-power when she’s telling you that you’re cute with that double bacon cheeseburger and chocolate malt.
Drinking All Day
Waking up at seven in the morning to a shot of bourbon is no longer an option when in a relationship. You can still drink, but the purpose behind that drinking is different now — it used to be in an overall attempt to get laid, and now it’s just part of socializing, and has a very low cap placed on it. Your drinking days are effectively over, unless you scored a lush, in which case you’re both going to end up in rehab.
Dressing Any Way You Want, and Still Getting Chicks to Flirt With You
Mismatched argyle socks and ironic t-shirts with blazer combinations may get you results now, while you wander in and out of bars freely, but you’re in for a surprise if you think your new girlfriend is going to let you get away with that for long. Sure, she thought it was cute at first, but she’s not about to let you meet her parents dressed like that.
